8 posts tagged “sf”

I went to the Thursday "nightlife" event at the California Academy of Sciences last night, and I have to say I was pretty excited to see this museum that has been hyped up by the press and my peer group.

Plus, the fact that I was going to get to see the museum in a no-children environment, with cocktails and a DJ, made the whole thing that much more exciting.

And though I had a great evening with my friends and was happy that the lines at the many bars stationed around the museum weren't too long, overall I was utterly disappointed.

Here's why:

1. I miss the big T-Rex skeleton when you walk in. I couldn't find him - or any dinosaur-like things - anywhere. Finally, I noticed him tucked in a corner near the global warming exhibit. He's a lot smaller than I remembered. The blue whale also seemed to blend in too well.

2. The hands-on tide pool is small and plastic. Apparently they have to rotate the animals so that they don't get "stressed" but this means that you don't actually get to touch the rocks or their actual habitat. Instead, the are placed in a plastic tray. The whole thing looks like something you'd find in a kindergarten classroom. I didn't even bother getting my hands dirty for that one.

3. The aquarium gave me vertigo. It also seemed like the fish didn't have a ton of space.

4. THERE IS NO EARTHQUAKE SIMULATOR

5. The global warming exhibit is not visually stimulating, nor does it deserve that much space.

6. In general, the floor plan didn't feel cohesive.

7. There seemed to be a LOT of gift shops. What happened to just one gift shop at the end. Since when do we infuse them directly into the museum experience?

Things I liked:

1. African hall is still there. Love those dioramas. Though the (live) penguins didn't seem to have a lot of space.

2. It's modern, but visually interesting. I especially liked the wooden plank pathways and the sky-walks. I'm not very into all of the open-ness, however, I found it distracting.

3. Foucault’s Pendulum is still there. I used to stare at that thing for HOURS when I was a kid. A peg gets knocked over every 30 minutes and it was not a trip to the Academy of Sciences unless I was there to witness it happen.

4. It was clearly built with thought and purpose.

5. The wine pours were amazing, and at the end of the night, our bartender was basically giving it to us for free.

6. Cool space for a party.

Things I need go to back to see:

1. The rainforest - you couldn't take drinks in, so we skipped it.

2. The planetarium. Supposed to be amazing. Really hoping they have Pink Floyd laser shows!

3. The living roof. Sounds cool.
 

Impromptu dance parties under the Bay Bridge on warm summer nights...

I am scared of birds. Really, really scared. And the thing is... Birds can sense this about me, so whether I'm sitting on a bench or walking down a city street, I can pretty much guarantee that a flock of birds will band together and swoop dangerously close to my head. In fact, I might as well just admit this now: If I am walking down the sidewalk and I see a large gathering of pigeons, there is an excellent chance that I will cross the street rather than risk walking within two feet of them. Because you NEVER know when they're going to decide to attack.

All of this being said, you can only imagine how I felt yesterday when I realized I was TRAPPED on the N-Judah with two men and A PIGEON. And no, I did not think it was funny when one of the men asked to see The Piegon's ticket. I was too busy hyperventilating and trying not to attract unnecessary attention to myself so that The Pigeon wouldn't notice me.

But then... then The Pigeon started walking towards me. Stopping only occasionally to stick his foul beak into the grooves on the floor to collect whatever crumbs earlier passengers had dropped. And since he was getting dangerously close, I did what any girl would do: I called my mommy.

My mother did her best to calm me down (by telling me that The Pigeon was more scared than I was, which was clearly a BIG FAT LIE), but then... then the pigeon walked RIGHT BY MY FOOT. And so I screamed. And when I screamed, The Pigeon started FLYING. So I hung up the phone and ducked and covered.

But the thing about birds is... THERE IS NO WAY TO PROTECT YOURSELF. You can't jump on your seat because they can FLY. And I don't care if you're covering your head: They can still LAND ON TOP OF IT.

Luckily, the train soon rolled into the next stop at King and 2nd Street and I immediately ran into another car. It must not have been The Pigeon's stop, however, as he stayed on...

My heart stopped racing about thirty minutes later, but here's the thing... It is quite clear to me now that MUNI will never be the same for me again. Much like the time when I was little and my brother read me the scene from "The Shining" with the dead naked woman in the bathtub, and I had to look through the crack in the bathroom door to make sure the bathtub contained no dead naked ladies for YEARS... I imagine my MUNI rides going forward will be something like that... Always checking for pigeons, knowing that at any point in time, one might decide to hop on my train, focus his beady little eyes on me... and attack.

Julie and I threw on some casual outfits and headed down to San Jose on Wednesday night to see BON JOVI!!!

MUNI is proposing eliminating the 6-Parnasus bus from Ashbury Heights. Ok, so you may not care, and I'm not going to lie - I never actually use the 6 because I take the N-Judah to work, but this is my neighborhood bus. The ONLY bus that runs along Frederick Street. And I see people waiting at those bus stops every single morning, so I am SURE someone is taking it... So please do take a moment to read the following information and say SOMETHING to Muni about moving the 6-Parnasus bus line from FREDERICK STREET to HAIGHT STREET.

Because, seriously, can you imagine if you had to get on and off the bus on HAIGHT STREET every day? Like commuting isn't painful enough? (Not to mention that huge hill you'd have to walk up... which is tough enough if you're out of shape, but would be near impossible if you were elderly or handicapped.) Sure, I love the hill because it keeps the Haight Street kids a good two LONG blocks from my house, but I'd be bummed if I had to walk up and down it every day. Also, business like the Ashbury Market need people waiting outside their shop in the morning to create revenue. It is NOT good for Ashbury Heights to lose the 6-line.

Protect Our (ok, fine, my) Neighborhood by:

1. Calling the 311 customer service line
2. Sending an email to info@sftep.com
3. Submitting an online form at http://www.sftep.com/docs.html

Dear Dining Room Chair,

Listen. I totally understand that after spending *that* much time with my mother, you were eager to escape her grasp. But we were SO close to being united for the first time. In fact, she was bringing one of your siblings into my apartment building when she left you there on the street corner next to her car.

As you sat there on the corner of Frederick and Delmar all alone in the dark of night, I have to wonder how you felt. Scared that you'd been abandoned? Relieved that you were no longer in the hands of my mother? Worried about who your new owner was going to be? Exhausted from traveling from Palm Springs to Napa and then to San Francisco? That's a long trip for a chair. I get it. You were probably just eager to get settled in...

And then. From out of no where: A stranger yanked you off the street and took you into his home. When you were only FEET from mine. And for this, dear dining room chair, I am truly sorry. You see: My mother has lived in San Francisco since the early 80s and yet, somehow, for whatever reason, she clearly forgot that it's an urban environment. A city where - if someone sees furniture on the street - it means it's up for grabs. So when the stranger took you out of my life and into his, he had no idea he was separating you from all your brother and sister chairs. He just thought he found a free chair.

Which is why I put these signs up in a ridiculous attempt to get you back:

 

And why I posted this on craigslist in the Lost & Found section:

And, hey. I totally get that. But my other three chairs really miss their friend. And they understand you thought he was up for adoption. But, um, he wasn't. He was just being neglected. And my mom's really good at that. But I am really BAD at that. I take care of things. And if you give me my chair back I will make sure it has a wonderful home and gets a lot of ass-action. Promise.

Also: In return for the chair, I will bring you something yummy. Wine. Chocolate. Whatever you want. That you can consume standing up, of course.

THANKS!"

 

And yet... Deep in my heart, I know what you know: Which is that you're lost to me forever. You've found a new home. It's somewhere close by, most likely, and yet, so very far away.

Good luck out there in the world. I hope you're happy. And that your new owner doesn't have a fat ass. And that he isn't a naked chair sitter. Because those are the worst.  

 

There's not too much to report except that it was the yummiest Thanksgiving meal I've ever consumed (this, despite the fact that I was too full (ok, fine, tipsy) to eat dessert). Also: I would not have been too tipsy to eat dessert except that the tradition of the family with whom I ate dinner is to do shots of Wild Turkey before, during, and after Thanksgiving Dinner. I'd never actually consumed The Wild Turkey before and so I was naive to its power. Even my trusty bow and arrow could not protect me.

The night ended with me arriving home, throwing my headdress across the foyer, kicking my moccasins up into the air and climbing into bed with my war paint still inked across my cheeks. Sadly, the bow and arrow were left behind. A sacrifice well worth it though. Can't wait for next year!

There's something to be said for working from home.

 

It's a gorgeous SF day. I, on the other hand, look like a truck ran over my face and my hair got caught in a leaf blower. Which is why I will not be turning the camera around on myself.